All this recent talk about the government installing gambling limiters on pokies to stop chronic losers got me thinking. They have it all wrong! If anything needs a limit, it’s my absurd spending on plastic surgery. Ms Gillard look no further than Fairfield RSL to observe the devious master plan to attract a new legion of punters, whilst clutching onto the old and hooked.  It is called “La Tratt”.

“La Tratt” is possibly the most strategic restaurant you will ever encounter. It is deceptive in appearance as you step inside and take in the swanky fireplace, white linen, floor to ceiling wine racks and vases full of (get this) REAL flowers! It’s like walking into a port-a-loo to discover a jungle waterfall and is simply uncanny for an RSL.

But wait, “La Tratt” ain’t all show, it also has well trained wallet assassins (waitstaff) that know how to push your buttons by asking well crafted questions like:

“how are you this evening?”

“sparkling, still or tap?”

“care to enjoy a glass of wine?”

“another glass?”

…

“another glass?”

“I think you’ve had too many”

And after a dismal attempt to ask the waitress whether she found me or Brad Pitt more handsome, I concluded service of this standard is: SUPE-RSL-NATURAL.

But like the dealer of a rigged blackjack table, the house always wins: a 3 course dinner, sides, bread, coffee/tea, petit fours and a glass of house wine for $45*?! Surely the chef worked on the casino tables because I struggle to comprehend the odds of eating well-crafted Italian inspired cuisine using quality ingredients at this price. Think fragrant porcini mushroom soup, crispy seared barramundi and a silky pannacotta to finish. It’s a far cry from a dingy pub schnitzel doused in gloopy gravy that’s for sure.

So if you don’t lose money on the pokies as you exit the club, you will be forking out at La Tratt because it would probably be the only jackpot you hit on the night and many nights to come.

I’ve yet to encounter Foodie Helpline…

* Mid-week dinner offer offered Wednesday and Thursday nights only.

IT'S A TRAP!

Zuppa di Funghi e Castagne - Porcini mushroom and chestnut soup with goats cheese parcels and white truffle oil

Fiori di Zucca Fritti - Fried zucchini flowers with caponata, goat’s cheese cream, pine nuts and basil

Contechino Salsiccia - Contechino sausage with white polenta, pickled baby beetroot and salsa verde

Arrosto di Pesce - Roast Western Australia Cone Bay barramundi fillet with wild mushrooms, artichokes, garlic, parsley and white wine

Osso Buco di Vitello - White River veal osso buco with tomato and vegetable braise, white polenta and basil

Side of mixed vegetables

Semifreddo Croccante - Almond praline semifreddo with coconut, hazelnuts and butterscotch sauce

Bombolini - Italian doughnuts, with vanilla bean ice cream, cinnamon sugar and dulce de leche

Pannacotta Alla Vaniglia - Vanilla Bean pannacotta with poached rhubarb, moscato zabaglione and coconut biscotti

La Tratt

Fairfield RSL

14 Anzac Avenue
Fairfield NSW 2165
(02) 9727 5000